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Much like those prescription pain killers your Aunt Bertha got hooked on back in ’87 — remember she nearly killed Big Jimmy and Lil’ Ray taking them out inner tubing on the power lines behind her F-250? — Igno Rants can be habit-forming. That’s why we occasionally pull back the dosage a bit.
Not to fret, though. Your beloved Igno Rant hosts are back to tell you exactly how not to think about this weekend’s upcoming games! To make things up to you, we’ve picked not one, but TWO GIGANTIC BOLD PREDICTIONS!
Auburn vs the LSU baby cubs, Cain't nobody get hurt by Arkansas
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The sheer weirdness of 2017 college football is a sure sign of the Apocalypse. But not a fiery Armageddon, no, if 5 weeks of this insanity has taught us anything, it’s that the world will end because all the things that we used to count on — gravity, the rising and setting of the sun, Cam Newton will be involved in another controversy — will suddenly stop being true.
At least a few things have been consistent this year:
You know what else is entertaining? This podcast! Listen, share, & subscribe!
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This flaming wagon of suck comes with a huge buyout!
With each new season, the college football talking heads like to jabber on about how we’re always surprised by the sport. Maybe it’s not so much of a surprise so much as an inevitability — like when you’re having a nice Thanksgiving dinner with the extended family, and then that one cousin wants to talk about his moral stance on veganism — but the SEC has turned into a not-very-good conference overall.
Let’s face it: LSU, both Mississippi teams, Tennessee, SC, Vandy, Missouri, Arkansas, and Texas A&M would make a decent replacement for the old Big East conference, in terms of skill, coaching, and current expectations.
At least we have Alabama & Auburn blowout wins to keep us warm and comfy.
Can't escape the Mississippi in you, mid tier in air quotes, Orgeroning a program to death, The yesteryear of 2012
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With 1/3 of the season in the books, Igno Rants has hit mid-season form. Unfortunately, the slate of games for this weekend has not as arguably the best of the bunch starts at 10:30 ET on Friday night. There’s still much to discuss, carry on about, and general ballyhoo so crank up the ol’ podcast Victrola and settle in for a listen.
Can't escape the Mississippi in you, Jay Jacobson can't wash away the Tubs, Tennessee hillbillies
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It was a week when too many of the big boys struggled to look mighty against inferior opponents. Not so with Auburn and Alabama (and, OK, Georgia too, we suppose). Both on the scoreboard and statistically, these teams thoroughly dominated their SEC foe — thereby pleasing both Carey & Jeremy.
Yes, yes, yes. We know who they are, Missouri and Vanderbilt. But a flawless gem is still flawless even if you find it in a pawn shop.
Plus, a new weekly thought puzzle: Who’s not “safe” as an SEC Head Coach?
Can't escape the Mississippi in you, Miss St is bad, Mizz-WHO?, Mizzou is bad, Vandy is bad
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Like the inevitable, next sequel in the Fast & Furious franchise, week 3 was all hype and very little substance. True, we had some surprise games thanks to Texas and Memphis (?!), but there was a lot of deflation going on.
More to the point, how do you compare performances against non-Power 5 teams? Is it the quality of the stats line, despite what the scoreboard says? Or are the PF/PA columns the only ones that really matter?
Chitlin Z, Gerry Dinardo reference, Giant trashcan, Stats all she wrote
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While the Gus Bus tries to stop devolving into an Oregon Trail disaster of misery and dysentery, Auburn gets a week of cupcake delights against Mercer. Likewise, Alabama tries to get healthy hosting the Rams of Colorado State.
Meh.
Luckily, there’s some exciting action going on outside the Magnolia State. Check out Carey & Jeremy’s wishes for Bama and Auburn, plus their picks on Tenn/Fla, Louisville/Clemson, LSU/MSST, and Texas/USC!
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Stop me if you heard this one recently: Alabama handled an overmatched team easily, but looked sloppy doing it. Auburn, filled with expectations, failed to put together a coherent offensive performance even while its defense looked good. A ho-hum Saturday for Bama and what’s become more of the same for Auburn has this Igno Rants podcast wondering: what’s left to talk about?
Thankfully, UGA, Oklahoma, Lamar Jackson (with Louisville in tow), and Southern Cal did some interesting things!
Boring Bama Boring, Chitlin Z, The other other other Tigers, Throwin people under the Gus Bus, USC: Unlikely Suddenly Consistent
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It looks like most of our audience will be directly under the baleful gaze of Irma this weekend and through the start of next week. Be safe, be smart everyone! And by that I mean get everything ready today so you can enjoy the quality football games on Saturday!
Jeremy & Carey break down the weekend’s matchups with Fresno St. and Clemson, and give their picks. Who do you like in this weekend’s big games?
Mascot hell week, The other other other Tigers, Yet another bulldogs
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Whelp, after week one we still have 50% of CFB teams among the ranks of the unbeaten. Queue the mass hysteria for how to pick the Top 4!
Already in mid-season form, Jeremy waxes excitedly about the fabulous upsides of Auburn’s big win over Georgia Southern, while Carey laments the many miscues in Bama’s victory over FSU.
We also have our first coach on the Hot Seat (you get three guesses who and the first two guesses don’t count, as Papa Igno Rant always says).
Alabama, Aubun, FSU, Georgia Southern, Looking for a lil Sumlin Sumlin for my comeback
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