BY: Bill Bennett
Citing verbal abuse, Lane Kiffin has filed for divorce from Nick Saban. This will be Kiffin’s second divorce this year. “My wife was beautiful but a real bitch,” he said as he was buttoning up his maternity shirt, “Nick is just an asshole. He ripped my face off on national TV.” He will continue in his roll as offensive coordinator, making 1.4 million a year, until another USC coach gets fired. “When you get fired at USC, you are ready to suck Nick’s ass for a paycheck,” the once proud and now lowly sycophant declared. If no USC coach is available, rumor has it Donald Trump is interested in the position.