College Football

Rhett Lashlee Oinks ” This little piggy wants to be head coach”

2 Oct , 2016  

By: Bill Bennett

Lashlee, while wallowing in his own feces, has contacted Interim Coach Ed Oregon at LSU to find out how he arranged to have Les Miles fired so he could take over. ” I have tried to get Gus on a motorcycle with some broad, but he isn’t falling for it,” Lashlee snorted. The former Arkansas Quarterback, who is credited with Auburn’s impressive wins against NCAA powerhouse Arkansas State and University of Louisiana at Monroe, knows his window of opportunity is closing. “I have to get his ass canned soon or those bastards upstairs will go for Lane Kiffin.”
In other news, Coach Nick Saban continues to berate his transferring QB for being a quitter. Saban, who swears his shit doesn’t stink, forgot that he left Kent State, Michigan State, LSU and the Miami Dolphins without fulfilling his contractual obligations. Saban doesn’t seem to comprehend that it is okay for him to pursue a better opportunity but not okay for one of his minions. Saban, who also doesn’t believe Miss Terry is a gold digging bitch or that Paul Feinbaum is a bald headed turd, spent the afternoon spit shining his statue in front of the stadium. 

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